You're so flexible! Just like Michelle Trachtenberg!

Cinematic Gold: Disney's Ice Princess.

Michelle Trachtenberg. Kim Cattrall. Joan Cusack. Zamboning.

The moral of the story? Fuck Harvard, I'm going to meet Michelle Kwan!

Sidenote: Anyone else think it's weird that Smith from Sex and the City dated Kim Cattrall on that show, and then dated Michelle in real life? Oh right, just me.

What time is it? SUMMER TIME!

If you did not watch High School Musical 2 on Friday, apparently you were the only one. The made for TV movie boasted the highest rating for a cable program.... EVER. ever, guys.

I loved it, as we all knew I would. I was most impressed with little Lucas Grabeel, aka the gay one who wears a lot of loud hats. I kinda of fell in love with him. You know, just a little.

However, I am upset about how this movie and other things, Saved by the Bell for example, glorify working at a country club. I spent the worst summer of my life held up at Luxurious Elmcrest Country Club, and believe me, there was little to dance and sing about.

The pool at my country club did not look like this. It was much squarer. Also, everyone who went there was a mom or a small child. The high schoolers spent most of their time at Lindale Mall.

There was also no playboy-esque grotto, where I'm pretty sure Troy and Gabriella did it. Seriously, they are trying to play up this whole "they never kiss till the end" thing, but you know if Gabi didn't put out Troy would be all up in slutty Sharpay in like two seconds.

Other non realistic things? A talent show. Elmcrest members didn't like to do anything that detracted from their drinking, so a talent show would probably be unnecessary. And they sure as heck didn't respect the staff enough to sit through a performance arranged by them.

And my final qualm, the depiction of the employee pool party. I remember the glorious employee pool party promised to us by the managers. It became 4 people swimming and lots of cold hot dogs. I kind of only went for the satisfaction of finally swimming in the pool that I had spent 7 hours a day circling with trays full of food.

But perhaps if Lucas had popped up at Elmcrest in an adorable hat, I would have had a magical summer of Disney Channel escapades.

Obscure Celebrity Crush of the Week: MacKenzie Crook!

Now, usually when I talk about Obscure Celebrity Crush MacKenzie Crook, I refer to him as the one in Pirates of the Caribbean with the wooden eye, which usually induces some sort of disinterested, "Ah..." and then a run for the hills, which is ridden with more Hill People and less Obscure Celebrity Stalker People.

He was also on The Office*, turning Northern English into the sexiest of the British dialects. I also may or may not have sat through Pacino's Merchant of Venice for five minutes of him in a goofy moustache**.

My love for Obscure Celebrity Crush MacKenzie Crook spans far and wide. He plays the gangly schlamazel Pirates Uno, Dos, & Tres, the gangly schlamazel in The Brothers Grimm (a film which should be viewed for, and only for, Heath Ledger being the weirdest and craziest I've ever seen him), and also the gangly schlamazel in--

Well, just be the judge of it for yourself. Watch him in this wonderful short Ant Muzak. Because if there's one thing I love more than obscure celebrities, it's ADAM ANT.***

He's also played Billy Bibbit on stage in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest with Christian Slater as Jack Nicholson. MacKenzie, you know that's one of my favorite stories. Why don't you woo me with your lanky limbs and bulgy eyes some more, k thnx.

*The British one. Bitch please.

**May not.

***No, it's actually obscure celebrities in vague drag.

10 DAYS.

"Hotter as a Faun is hotter in a Jane Austen movie." -Sophie

Robot Anne Hathaway's Evil Plot: The Princess Diaries and The Devil Wears Prada may actually be the same movie

I have a lot of theories about many of Hollywood's most notorious starlets actually being robots. (anyone seen SimONE?) I do think that that Anne Hathaway is a robot, but that is not the point of this entry. The point of this entry is the uncanny resemblance between two movies of her movies; similarities that no one had really ever discussed before.

1. Anne Hathaway is awkward and falls down a lot, but with the help of a gay friend, she becomes fabulous. In Prada they give her clothes, in Princess they pluck her eyebrows.
2. Anne become fabulous but forgets to help out the people she loves the most. In Princess it's weirdo friend Lily who she leaves hanging on her cable show and in Prada it is puppy face boyfriend who she ditches on his birthday.
3. Overbearing older-woman controls Anne's life. Meryl Streep in Prada is a bit worse than Julie Andrews in Princess, but still. STILL.
4. Anne Hathaway has an Artistic Boyfriend. Ok, puppy face is a chef, but whatev. Also they both have floppy dark hair. Coincidence? I think not.
4. Anne slips up with Douche boy. Editor guy in Prada (yeah his character is fairly forgettable) and greasy greasy Erik Von Detten in Princess. Seriously, why did I think this grease was so attractive when I was 14?
5. Anne has to deal with problems from Bitch Girl. Mandy Moore in her first acting role. Who knew it would lead to such great things as License to Wed and Chasing Liberty? And then brilliant Emily in Prada.

ok so some of the things are a stretch. But when you are a robot you can only do so much!