Obscure Celebrity Crush of the Week: Iain Glen

Today we salute 2011's hardest working character actor, Iain Glen.

With Sean Connery's syrupy Scottish voice and Sting-at-4am's wiry good looks, Iain Glen has brought gravity, charm, and minor douche-baggery to Downton Abbey and Game of Thrones.

Exhibit A: Sir Richard Carlisle

Newspapa man!

Exhibit B: Ser Jorah Mormont

Horseback and chivalry. Like a B.A.

Somebody's typecast as a *"Sir"! even though imdb lists over 60 credits prior to Downton Abbey but nobody really cares about that.  He's had the British equivalent to a steadily working American actor's career, with spots on Law and Order: UK and a couple of Resident Evils.

*or "Ser" for our Medieaval neards out there

He's managed to work hard, look good, AND overcome the hardship of having an extraneous "I" in his name. What can't the man do.

A Scottish Brando for the next generation.

But back to Downton Abbey and Game of Thrones which is all I and everyone else in the world wants to talk about.  Minor spoilers within.  It was during Downton Abbey that I realized I recognized him from Game of Thrones, which was an UTTER DEVASTATION.  He's just so... dashing, and tough, and kind, and everything I want off the cover of a Harlequin romance novel in Game of Thrones, and in Downton Abbey he's just so... "I've obviously had Shakespeare training."  Not to knock my dear sweet Gleny, because this clearly shows his versatility (he can act with a beard AND WITHOUT A BEARD!), but come on.  Am I going to go for the hunky horseman who's surrounded by a bunch of topless men (ok and women) of Ser Jorah or the Hearst-like stoicism of Sir Richard?  I'd rather be Daenerys than Mary ANY day.  Except for wardrobe.  Then I'd definitely go Mary.

The dress! The man candy!

But the rogue power! The hot/uncomfortable sexy times!

Oscar Nom Nom Noms: Best Picture

First off, it's by no means a surprise that Avatar is nominated (and even "by no means" is an understatement) (and even "understatement" doesn't do it justice) but I am pleasantly surprised that District 9 is nominated. Now, while Avatar is the greater crowning achievement in the advancement of cinematic technology blah blah blah, District 9 is actually the better film. I'm sure this won't be the only time that the subject matter is compared - Avatar with its obvious parallels to the colonization of America/the Iraq war and District 9 with its parallel to apartheid BOTH via the use of aliens - District 9 actually manages to make you feel strongly about something tangible instead of "oh man, isn't it sad what we did to the Native Americans? If only they had bad ass guns and the ability to harness futuristic pterodactyls." In other words, District 9 shows the same kind of hatred and bigotry through aliens and amazing special effects as Avatar, but it makes you think a little more. Sure, the aliens in Avatar are really flipping awesome and likable right from the getgo, but there's a moment in District 9 where you realize you like the totally disgusting, unattractive, and unintelligible aliens. Maybe this speaks more of American-style storytelling vs. British or South African as it were - we like our characters likable as quickly as possible, so we have to do as little work as possible, as opposed to earning that likability - truly understanding why we should like a giving character.

Needless to say, Avatar will win the Oscar.

Initially I was skeptical about the 10 film nominations for Best Picture, but have since come to appreciate that some unexpected movies get a nomination because of it. Namely, An Education. Seriously - An Education? Nominated for Best Picture? Now don't get me wrong, I love me some snide British comedies and definitely have a soft spot for Paris in the '60s and Peter Skaarsgaaard, but I thought I was the only one! It actually was one of my favorite movies of the year. I mean, when I saw it with my mom we kept beaming at each other and saying over and over again how much we love this movie - but you don't expect the Academy to feel that way with their moms as well!


Rawr?

I would have much rathered Humpday in this alternate spot. That was definitely my favorite movie of the year, and if they were looking for some unsung gem to give a chance in the spotlight, that would be it. Subject matter aside (or more realistically, subject matter in the forefront) this was one of the most intelligent, well-acted, and interesting films I had seen in a long time. Speaking of gay, I'm excited Colin Firth for A Single Man is nominated, though I would much rather see this movie nominated for Best Picture than likenamed A Serious Man.For the beer bottle, right? As for the "Up" movies (haha get it?), Up in the Air was kind of underwhelming (more excited again for the fantastic women nominated in tha film) and would probably lose to the Coen brothers and definitely to the special effects movies. Up I still need to see, but it's always exciting when an animated film gets nominated. Like maybe we're a culture that celebrates the inner child over the SFX loving adult? Like maybe....

I still need to finish Inglorious Basterds. I think I'm in a minority of people who had trouble getting through the film. I think I did myself a disservice by watching the original early '80s cult version of it that Tarantino's was based on because I was expecting something totally different. The style and theme of the movie were interesting... but I just had trouble with the opening scene getting the audience to not sympathize with the Nazis. Isn't that one of the few inherent things in our culture? Nazis are pictured, and you hate them? Maybe I'm just having difficulty watching un-rationalized violence lately. I suppose I am not Tarantino's target audience.

Can we talk about Mo'Nique's rise to awesomeness, though? I still need to see Precious as well, but I love that Mo' is doing so well. I can't wait to see her in a bad comedy with Steve Martin. Then she'll know she's made it.

I haven't seen The Hurt Locker or The Blind Side, so both prepositional movies aren't getting considered here. They're probably two of the bigger contenders but... oh well, should make for an interesting 10-way race.

Mama wants an Oscar.

Nude Moon

My one and only thought on the Twilight movie franchise:

Kristen Stewart's acting is SINGLE-HANDEDLY responsible for the success of these movies.

BAM. I just blew your mind. I mean, I guess the pre-sold product of all that YAF has a little something to do with it. But K-Stew takes NOTHING and spews and sputters and sighs and cries her way into me be invested in absolutely no action. Ok well her acting and Jasper's hair am I right?

Crazy eyes!

/edit I tried to find a clip to showcase Ms. Stewart's acting, but I can only watch so many clips edited together of Bella and Edward kissing set to Evanescence. SO MANY.

Obscure Celebrity of the Week: Richard Ayoade

Do you like how that whole "...of the Week" thing is becoming more "...of the biannual"? Yeah, I thought so. You seemed like someone who would like that.

Anyways, this year's Obscure Celebrity Crush of the Week is everyone's favorite British TV actor of Norwegian-Nigerian descent Richard Ayoade! And we thought the only good thing coming out of Britain right now was Susan Boyle. Apparently they have TV channels! A whole four of them! I first learned of M. Ayoade's beautifully obscure celebrity from the TV show "The I.T. Crowd" - produced by the same guy as the British "Office" (though the show has more of the same tone as "Black Books" which shares the director and writer with "The I.T. Crowd." "Black Books" which also features obscure celebrity crush Irish comedian Dylan Moran - longest parenthetical run-on ever!)As geeky dreamhunk Maurice Moss on "The I.T. Crowd," Richard Ayoade manages to make every line he says absolutely hysterical. His delivery is amazing; what can only be described as a slightly annoyed 12-year-old boy mixed with an old British man with pipe and sock garters is a perfect combination for manchild Moss. And, he does all this while rocking a neo-Frederick Douglas hairstyle! This man may be the coming of the messiah.

From my very reliable wiki-research it would appear he got his start working on the show "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace" - which as a huge anglophile-nerdpants I've known about for a while but didn't actually watch until recently. The parody of an '80s Stephen King-style horror/literature show is dead on, complete with eerily realistic intentional bad editing and acting. His character of producer-gone-actor Dean Learner is lifechanging, from his straightforward and somewhat cocky delivery as the producer to his totally uncomfortable and shifty-eyed acting attempts as the actor.

It's no surprise that he's also friends with "The Mighty Boosh" guys (but then again, who isn't?). It would appear that all the actors on cult British TV shows like got a pint together at university and cast each other in hilarious cameos all the time. Like Noel Fielding's kind of amazing portrayal of office goth Richmond on "The I.T. Crowd." But self proclaimed "gothic detective" Noel Fielding will have to wait for another post since he is MAYBE NOT OBSCURE ENOUGH. Richard Ayoade's small roll in "The Mighty Boosh" as an irritated soothsayer named Saboo is what it's about.

Richard? Are you wearing eyeliner? What are you trying to do to me.

In my post-holidays haze/coma I'm thrilled to have a new obscure celebrity to impart to all of you. And a multi-talented one, at that! In addition to acting and acting as producers, he directs music videos (that naturally feature actors from cult British TV shows) and just came out with a concert film of the Arctic Monkeys (who apparently had in England more than just the one big hit they had here). He's in the process of directing his first feature-length film as well. I see nothing but good stuff coming his way.

Rawr.

Paradoxing Gender: A Literary/Textual Analysis of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

Introductory Sentence: Since the dawn of civilization, people have found a way to entertain themselves; from the cavemen to RuPaul, this notion involves challenging the very gender identities we ourselves embody on a day to day basis as oneself, together.

Evidence 1: I watch a lot of trash.

Evidence 2: "RuPaul's Drag Race" is one of the best parodies I've ever seen.

Evidence 3: Gender notions are challenged!

Thesis Statement: "RuPaul's Drag Race" is genius.

First Paragraph: As aforementioned, I watch a lot of trash. I've seen enough cycles of "America's Next Top Model" to hold my own Tour de France. I don't consider Best Reality Show Ever "Project Runway" trash, but you know, it can get kind of trashy. I was once channel surfing and passed "The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency," went back to see what it was like for a minute, and ended up watching it for FOUR HOURS. Consequently, I am no stranger to the slightly talented-based reality show. "RuPaul's Drag Race"... IS A GEM.

Second Paragraph: Of all the reality show parodies (and really all that comes to mind is that Joe Schmo show... remember that one? Where everyone except one guy was in on it, and whenever it showed their confessional it would say under their name the stereotype they were portraying, i.e. The Nerdy Friend, The Bitch) (OH and Matthew Lillard in "She's All That"), this one is SO dead on. The format is basically identical to Runway and ANTM, complete with Santino playing Simon on the judges panel. BUT what makes this show so GENIUS is that RuPaul first appears out of drag, and plays TIM GUNN. AGAIN. GENIUS. He walks around and critiques the queens on whatever the challenge may be -- create a look out of thrift store crap, make a girl group and lip synch to a Destiny's Child song -- and gives them Gunn-ly advice. And instead of saying "Make it work!" he says "DON'T F*** IT UP." THEN for the runway portion of the show where they showcase whatever they were working on, RuPaul comes out in drag and plays TYRA BANKS. She's got the mannerisms and insanity DOWN. And the best part of this portion is... when it's down to the bottom two, they have to lip synch FOR THEIR LIVES. And then she'll say to one, "Shan-tay, you stay" and to the other "Sa-shay, AWAY." It still does work as a pretty entertaining reality show, but it's really obviously making fun of itself at the same time. Allow me to reiterate my thesis: GENIUS.

Paragraph Three: The queens be CRAZY. What makes this show especially interesting is that, unlike Project Runway, the contestants THEMSELVES are more on the line. They have to create their own looks, do their own makeup, and affix their own fake boobs. But what especially strikes someone with my track record of interest is how different the contestants act when they're in and out of drag. It's like twice the drama! When slutty Shannel, the Vegas showgirl, is a girl, she is a major diva, and terribly chatty. But when she's Brian, he's kind of chill. Still super confident, but doesn't have nearly the presence his alter-ego does. Conversely, Jade, the J-Lo one, is a rather meek drag queen, but as David, he will LAY SOME SMACK DOWN. My all-time favorite is Nina Flowers, aka Jorge Flores -- the Puerto Rican drag queen who barely speaks English and is covered head to toe in tattoos, and says things like "Fierce!" and "Work it baby WORK IT." every other sentence. Jorge is a butch guy, big muscles, bald, tattoos, but becomes a beautiful androgyne in drag. I also really like seeing these guys FREAK THE FUCK OUT over their makeup. And they're really entertainers, which is something you don't get in the modeling competitions.

Conclusion: Since I don't get LOGO (even though I've entertained buying cable just for IT), all the episodes so far are online. I'm very impressed at how entertaining this show is and how it's a formulaic reality show while satirizing one. You kind of forget who are men and who are women until they make a "tuck" reference, so there's your challenging gender notions for ya! --Not to mention that this is an incredibly diverse cast. The drags queens are Latina, African American, Filipino... and a lot of them talk about how they're unusual drag queens. One of my picks to win, Ongina, says she doesn't wear hair, fake boobs, or tuck. Bebe Zahara Benet, my other pick to win does the whole rigmarole, but is SO CLASSY about it. Breaking the norm of the non-norm. If this was a real college paper, that's probably what I would call it.

VROOM!

the Awkwards part 2

or at least that's what i'm going to call the Oscars from now on. never before has an awards show made me so nervous. after Hugh Jackman's opening musical number, followed by a curtain mishap, i was ready to call it a night. really though, things proceeded pretty smoothly. i thought most of the speeches were great (Kate Winslet, Dustin Lance Black, Heath Ledger’s family, Sean Penn, the crazy French guy, everyone who won for Slumdog), and Ben Button didn't win best picture which was honestly all i cared about. here are a few more thoughts:

-- montages and musical numbers: stop. they're boring and so obviously filler it hurts like squirting liquid soap in your eye. the only montage everyone cares about is the tribute to all the artists who have died over the past year. and i get it, Hugh hosted the Tony's 3 times. but he also looked good taking his shirt off in the X-Men films. where were all the hairy chests Oscar, eh? (*i feel as though I need to put an addendum on here…i apologize to everyone who loved Hugh as a host. i hate musicals in all their shapes and forms (except Disney and Sweeny Todd), so i went into this with pessimistic expectations. this is a character flaw, i know.)

-- Steve Martin and Tina Fey need to have a love child right now. OMG can you picture the movie magic if they made a film where Steve gets impregnated by Tina’s child? HILARITY!!!

-- when did people stop wearing any color except grey, black and fuchsia? Angelina Jolie's earrings totally stood out amongst all the drab. although i totally disagree with what everyone says: why have people not yet grasped that Tilda Swinton can wear whatever the hell she damn pleases? A+ to Alicia Keys though. and PSH’s skull cap for making me giggle the entire night.

-- i’m pretty embarrassed it took me as long as it did to get the Ben Stiller/Joaquin Phoenix joke (half-way through the skit i was like “oooooooooooh, ok!). A+ to Natalie Portman for looking fabulous while being totally funny at the same time (normally she can’t multi-task). god, i can’t wait til 5 years from now when we can all look back on this and be like “remember that time when Joaquin went batshit crazy, and now he’s totally normal and has won 40 Oscars and is married to that Midwestern girl named Sophie.” er, yeah. me either.

-- i completely agree with everything Entertainment Weekly had to say about Jennifer Aniston as a presenter this year. shame on you, Oscar. this is supposed to be your classiest night, since when did you become a tabloid? we know we were all thinking the same thing when Aniston stepped onto that stage. you didn’t have to remind us.

-- suggestion for next year's Awkards: how about trying Will Smith out as a host? he was totally engaging as a presenter this year and could really bring life back to this show. plus, i'm hoping there's a pretty high chance he wouldn't sing.

but he might rap.

dammit.

The Oscars: A Solemn Reflection

THE FILMS OF TWO-THOUSAND AND EIGHT WHAT IS UP!! I was very pleased with the nominees this year, especially the world's most likable curmudgeonly badass Richard Jenkins, the fact that Wall-E was nominated for a bunch, and the opportunity for Bollywood in Hollywood. I went there. But wait -

LET'S BREAK IT DOWN.

I was SO EXCITED that a) Penelope Cruz was nominated, and b) that she won. Her boobs totally out-acted Scarlett Johansson. It's refreshing to see people that actually, like, do their job. Also, bonus points for Rebecca Hall being in both Vicky Christina Barcelona and Frost/Nixon, anyone? I know at least one of you out there thought that. And by that I mean I know at least one of you saw both of those films.

Woody knows what's up.

Now, I wasn't crazy about Amy Adams in Doubt, but I am crazy about Amy Adams in general. I'm pretty sure this won't be her last time at the Oscars. I'm pretty sure her necklace knows this as well.

Nom-less..............Nom-full.

If I didn't freaking love Milk so much, I would have been bummed that it beat Wall-E, because seriously, Wall-E is some genius writing. But Milk writer Dustin Lance Black was so cute! He kind of reminded me of Christian Bale in that part of Velvet Goldmine where he's all acne-y and a teenager and he's pointing at pre-rehabbed Jonathon Rhys-Myers on the TV and shouting, "Thut's me, Dad! Thut's me!" and then it gets really awkward because JR-M then says something about doing it with boys... I mean that only in the sense that DLB was the kid who called Harvey Milk in the film. Also, was anyone else confused when that Dustin Hoffman/Emma Thompson vehicle Last Chance Harvey came out, and think it was Milk's zombie sequel where Harvey Milk returns to feast on the flesh of the homicidal conservatives? No? Just me?

I was pretty sure Slumdog Millionare was going to have a fairly easy sweep, and I was happy for them. Adapted screenplay was no exception, though my former theatre major did weep a little for itself when neither Doubt nor Frost/Nixon came away with any awards (and this was really the only one that either of them stood a chance in). I haven't seen either of the plays, but I thought that both films did a pretty good job of avoiding the We're Movies That Are Actually Plays Curse. Especially because neither of them have physical action per se (even though Michael Sheen's hair could probably take down JCVD), but action of the verbal variety? Now my former theatre major self is rejoicing.

BAM.

This is the point where I skip all the artsy fartsy crap, including but not limited to short films, cinematography, and Jerry Lewis.

I thought the Actor in a Supporting Role category was pretty interesting this year. I mean, obviously it had to go to Matilda, which kind of bugs me because I still think Heath Ledger should have won for Brokeback Mountain. It's just irritating that he's not getting all the recognition he deserved until he died. I suppose this is common knowledge, but I think I just miss Brokeback Mountain jokes. Where did they go??

Phillip Seymour Hoffman was terrific in Doubt. Definitely the best in the cast along with Supporting Actress nominee and best dressed of the evening Viola Davis (while he was contrastingly the worst dressed of the evening. Antithesis!). And can we talk about Robert Downey Jr.'s nom? I mean, it probably wasn't so much for his performance as it was for the character, but WHAT A META-COMMENT ON THE WAY THE ACADEMY WORKS. And I don't just mean because his character was all about doing insane things like changing his skin pigmentation for a role, but I mean because anyone could have played Anne Hathaway's role in Rachel Getting Married. Even Guy from TV on the Radio. BOGUS LOW BLOW! But kind of true.I wasn't ecstatic that Josh Brolin was nominated for Milk, because I thought he was, well, he played the part. You know who should have been nominated? Mother-fucking Emile Hirsch. For rocking my hair and some big-ass glasses. Seriously, to all my peeps who saw Milk (yeah I said peeps) (yeah I regret it), was he not the best part? But maybe that's just because he made out with Guy from Running with Scissors. ALSO GUY FROM HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL WAS IN MILK. HOW HAS THIS NOT BEEN DISCUSSED ON THIS BLOG YET?? I THOUGHT THIS REVELATION WAS WORTHY OF REMAINING IN A BOLDED CAPS LOCK!!


WOO!!

Excuse me. Now, I haven't seen Man on Wire, but that was my favorite acceptance speech by someone who didn't actually win, um, ever. I kept wanting him to come onstage and like make Jennifer Aniston disappear or something. Aw, just kidding. That was what Angelina Jolie wanted.

Speaking of Angelina Jolie and Wanted, is anyone else shocked that this was actually nominated for anything? I don't want to spoil the end, but do you know what I'm talking about? And how RIDICULOUS that is? And how that cheap ploy of special effects haunts my brain? And Angie's? But HEY, Hotter as a Faun himself was in that one, so they do get some points for that.

Fly away, Faun! Fly away!!

I hadn't seen any of the foreign language nominees, but I had seen the trailers for and The Class and Waltz with Bashir, so I really considered myself an authority on this category. In other news, how COOL did Departures look after they showed that clip? Morgue? Intrigue? JAPANESE CELLISTS? Have that guy make out with Ed Harris and I'm in.

BITCH BREAK: How was Appaloosa not nominated for ANYTHING??

Actress in a Leading Role was not as exciting of a category... I kind of assumed Kate Winslet's agent worked hard enough to make sure she would win SOMETHING this year. I mean, I do love her - though I didn't see The Reader much like Hugh Jackman (who, by the way, OWNED hosting) - and she was my pick to win. I didn't think Meryl Streep was going to win, though she did do her best Devil Wears Habit in Doubt. God, I've been wanting to make that joke forEVER.

I was pretty sure Sean Penn was going to win it for Milk (and calling Americans "commie homo sons of guns" was a PRETTY genius move, Spicoli), even though Mickey Rourke did completely disappear into the Ram*. Again, I was really happy that Richard Jenkins was nominated, because he is seriously so talented and The Visitor is a fantastic little movie that I never would have seen otherwise.

*that came out grosser than intended, but so it STAYS.

"Aah, the delicious irony that I call people fags in this movie."

Aaaaaand here we are at Best Picture. I do think that Slumdog Millionare deserved to win - what an original film, even if the very basic fairy tale plot line wasn't too original. I would have like to have seen Milk win, because I would've gotten a degree in Queer Cinema if they would've let me, but I think Slumdog was a worthy opponent as /Nixon would say.

On a final note, the evening was really made by three, count 'em, THREE appearances by Zac Efron. Had he been around when I was 13 and not Johnny Depp, I would have DIED. Except that I think he is 13. And where is Johnny Depp anyway? Don't you feel like he's been a staple of the Oscars since he had his Winona tattoo altered?

Oh, you're here!